I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
