You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
