hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
