After last night, I could never be a politician.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
