3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
