i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
