quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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