If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize