They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
