Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
