The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
