Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize