love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize