Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
