I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize