yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I've blown a few things in my day
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize