Where did you get a picture of my penis
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
