Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?"Ā¯ and "Why tacos?"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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