I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
