I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
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