We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
its not stalking. its research.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Watching her eat just hurts me
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
