i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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