ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
NoShamevember. You game?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
