Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
