I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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