it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
