She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize