yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
