Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
