i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
