i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Randomize
