Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
