I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
