GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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