if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
