I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
