did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
