Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
40s are totally the cure
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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