Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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