Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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