i barfeds in our rink
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Mom said you looked used
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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