By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
