just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
