I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dick very happy bro
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
