ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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