my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
