Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
