I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
