he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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