1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
it's great music for shaving your balls
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
