i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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