but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
