Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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