Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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