I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I will pee on everything he values.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
