the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize