i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
