Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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