cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You can't motorboat a personality
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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