you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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