Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize