I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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