I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
