Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
