why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
