Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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