It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize